Life Optimisation has become toxic (and it's killing my soul)

Love yourself, but work daily to improve yourself. Work hard, but rest more. Eat nutritious foods, but also listen to your body. Spend time alone but don't isolate yourself. The list you have to do to

The neverending list of things you have to do to live your best life is ruining our lives.

Living healthily and optimising everything about your life has probably never been as popular as it is now. It has given rise to what is now called Optimisation Culture. And although it started as a noble pursuit to live better, increase longevity, and find more fulfillment in your life, the obsession that has grown from it is toxic.

The list will never ever, ever, EVER end.

I am feeling absolutely overwhelmed with all the ways I ‘have to live’ to be my best, happiest, healthiest self.

Spoiler alert: I am not feeling like my happiest, healthiest, or best self.

The watch on my left arm tracks my steps and buzzes me every hour to be more active so I can aim for a healthy amount of movement in a day. The very same watch also reminds me to rest and slow down because my stress levels are too high.

When I want to just sit and chill, a part of me says I should be doing something more efficient with my time.

A mindfulness app designed to help me feel less overwhelmed with life ends up adding pressure to my already demanding day.

And then, just when I feel like I can’t handle anything more, Duolingo angrily prompts me to keep my language-learning streak alive.

It is just too much.

All of it.

I also realize that while I am furiously typing this post into existence, I am emotionally burnt out and need to take more time for myself. But thanks to malicious optimization thinking, I struggle to allow myself to ‘waste’ time doing something that isn’t going to actively optimise my life in an obvious way.

Yes, working on yourself is an incredible pursuit. Learning new things, creating healthier habits, and focusing on your personal development are wonderful ways to get the most out of your life.

But while you embark on a self-improvement journey, remember: you are enough, just as you are.

The only to-do list item that should never end is love for yourself.

Life shouldn’t be an endless loop of prompts, post-it reminders, mental to-do lists, Excel tracking sheets, app pop-ups, and internal dialogue telling you to do something.

It is okay to just exist.

To just be here.

To just be.

Even when you’re not your 'best’ self.

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Thanks for being here.

Rita xxx

P.S. I wrote the bulk of this post last Wednesday when I was in the middle of this storm. I have since taken time for myself and prioritized me again. And I am feeling a whole lot better. But more on that in another post.